(2018-03-11) Fun At Portside Mall
Fun At Portside Mall
Summary: Penny helps Audgrim with his clothes shopping. They freak out a few people in the process.
Date: 2018-03-11
Related: None
Player Characters: Audgrim, Penny

----— Portside Mall - Temporary Room ----—-

Audgrim is in the men's department of one of those stores that pretends that its brand is all fancy, and where people buy their clothes feeling like they fit in with everyone else. Prices are reasonable, not the cheapest, not the most expensive. They got everything from costumes to rock.

He is hovering amongst a coat racks, looking not a little bewildered. He's picked out one item and clings to it and it's not even clothing per se, it's a green bandana. Why he has it? Who knows. Not like he can wear it, with his horns. But it's obvious /why/ he is here: he is wearing illfitting blue sweatpants and a blue sweater, and some too small sandals on his feet. He needs new clothes.

Portside Mall is one of the products of Port Angeles' burgeoning economy. It's a shiny jewel of excess with a nautical theme. Anchors and shell designs abound here and there, all in service to The Almighty Dollar.

Penny is vaguely trailing one of the students at the school she works at. But she gets distracted from her stalking as she walks past the Fashionable Men store and spots Audgrim in the throes of shopping. "Oh no. Fashion alert! Whoop! Whoop!" Penny abruptly heads into the store, waiving her hands around. "Audi! What are you doing?"

Audgrim is not doing much of anything, he seems to be frozen in indecision. So far, his clothing has been given to him and he's just worn whatever got thrown his way. He picks up a coat - it's ugly and multicolored, and nobody would wear it unless they're possibly a mad person. But he likes the colors.

Penny's call startles him and he whirls around, tail hitting some of the coats so they move. Thankfully, nobody notices this oddity. His face splits into a grin. "Penny!" He holds up the coat. "I am buying clothes. All my clothes broke. What are you doing?"

"I'm…just hangin out at the mall," Penny replies sheepishly. "But more importantly…what is THAT?" She points at the coat he's chosen. "Are you tryin to dress like one of those Doctor Whos? Is this what you're gonna wear when you're buskin? Cause that should get you all the cash just from sympathy."

Audgrim eyes the offending piece of clothing, squinting at it. He hurriedly hangs it back. "Maybe not," he agrees. "Penny, help," he says, looking desperately at her. "I only know one thing I want; I want new coat like the one I had, or something like that." His English has improved so much, though the accent is still quite noticeable. He used to wear an old grey trench coat, that actually was quite stylish, but he's not dead set on the exact same, obviously.

Penny taps her chin with an index finger. "A coat like the one you had won't be in here, I don't think. This place is all cutting edge fashion." She waves that hand at the clothes rack. "This stuff is for when you want to be seen and get girls. And it'll fall apart in six months, which is about the time it won't be in fashion anymore." She lets out a long sigh. "We need to go to Mallard's."

Audgrim's relief is obvious. He grins widely and is by her side, now a helpful side-kick to a woman on a mission. (This, and he's very lazy, he's happy to let other do the real work.) "Need clothes that will not fall apart," he agrees. "Good quality. I got plenty of money, Tyla gave me," he admits shamelessly. He might be a good busker, but he hardly makes enough to buy his own wardrobe in one fell swoop like this. "Where is Mallard's?"

"It's a department store here in the mall. Just follow me." Penny walks out of Fashionable Men, assuming that Audgrim will follow her. She walks them through the immense mall, down a walkway that passes by every type of store you'd want, and some you wouldn't. Past a coffee shop, massage chairs, an eyebrow threader, a store for gothy clothes and pop culture tshirts (the owner waves at Penny), clothing stores for big women, small women, athletic women…

And finally, at the end, there is Mallard's. "Great, we have to run the gauntlet," Penny says, and as they enter the store, they are assaulted by a barrage of various perfume scents. It's going to be an issue for anyone with a sensitive nose, as overly made up women accost anyone and ask them to try this perfume or that cologne.

Audgrim has barely set his foot in here before and follows Penny like a lost puppy, eyeing the stores with wide eyes. There's still things in this time that surprised the hell out of him, and all the /things/ you can buy… He does give that gothy clothing store a bit of a longer look, all those black items in there appealing in its own way.

Entering Mallard's, he stops dead inside and looks momentarily overwhelmed by the scents. He doesn't linger, eager to get away from that, hot on Penny's heels. "How have you been?" he asks conversationally.

Penny is like an offensive linesman in American football, paving the way for the receiver, blocking any defense coming their way. And this keeps most of the Perfume Gauntlet off of her and Audgrim, though she does end up snarling at one woman. "No, I do not want to smell like an old rich woman who kisses dogs on the mouth. Move." And the woman moves, because she doesn't get paid that much.

Penny guides Audgrim through the store like Virgil guiding Dante through Hell. "That's Juniors, clothes for teen girls. Do not stay too long in Juniors, security will have questions. That's Shoes over there, we might want to stop there later. Bedding and Cookware is upstairs. And here's Mens!"

Audgrim takes careful mental notes of how Penny handles the huge store. He gives the perfume woman a toothy grin, which is more like a snarl; he's totally on Penny's side here. Good side-kick.

"Shoes," he agrees. "Boots. Good boots, I need that too." But here are the clothes, and he takes a slow look around, just getting a feel for the place. Probably much calmer in this area.

"Okay. So. Mens. This is where dads and granddads shop. This is where non-fashionable men shop. The clothes are decent quality and last a decent time. They last way longer than women's clothes, I know that." She hmphs as she wanders the racks and finds some trenchcoats. "Here you go. Give it a look through, see if you like this stuff."

This place has flannel shirts! Audgrim is already browsing through a rack of those and is picking out several of different colors. Red, green, blue. He fits well in most colors, so it doesn't matter that much. But Penny's found the trenchcoats so he pules the shirts over his arm and moves over. There's a black one, and he throws the shirts over the coat rack for now, as he tries it on.

He's almost immediately transformed into more of his old self, standing up straight, stretching his arms out to make sure it fits. It does. "This one," he notes, satisfied. "And a grey one. I can buy two!"

Penny is just happy that Audgrim isn't going to buy that coat from the other store. Only clowns get to wear stuff like that. She smiles as he picks out items. "That looks nice on you, Audi."

Audgrim piles everything up in his arms and wanders towards where some pants are. Jeans, cargo pants, military-style pants. He might be able to pick out shirts without trying them on, but pants - he best make sure they fit. His pile is dumped over a nearby rack, and he randomly picks out some cargo pants, black ones.

He then proceeds to take his sweat pants off, so he can try on some other ones. Dressing room? Not so much.

"Waaaaaait!" Penny puts up a hand as Audgrim proceeds to take off his pants. "Audi. Can't take off the pants in public, we'll get arrested and stuff. We'll gather up your stuff and you can use the changing room." By this time, the man in charge of sales in the Men's area is making his way over in order to take care of customers.

"Oh rrrright," Audgrim says, quickly pulling his pants back up while shuffling in between some racks, so he won't be spotted as easily. Hurriedly, he grabs all the clothes, and like ten or so pants of various colors, all of them cargo pants though. He likes those. "Hi," he says and shoots his most charming grin at the sales man. "I'm buying clothes. Lots of clothes." He proceeds to pull out a big roll of cash.

The salesman is a 20 something black man with short hair, conservative clothes, and a friendly smile. His name tag reads: "Derrick Smith". And poor Derrick has just walked up on a 40 year old gothy woman and a man who has grabbed a lot of clothes, is pulling up his sweatpants, and is now pulling out a big roll of cash.

Derrick puts on the big smile that he hopes will help him in the business world after he gets his degree and can finally leave this hellhole. "Hello there, I'm Derrick, is there anyway I can help you?" The smile is pleasant, but his eyes have the thousand mile stare of those who have worked in retail.

Penny is just worried about security right now. "Hey there…Derrick." She peers at his tag to get his name. "I'm Penny. My friend here is from out of town, and he's trying to get some new clothes. Could you show us where the Changing Room is?" She waves a hand at Audgrim and whispers, "Put away the cash."

Audgrim's grin remains, all animalistically charming. It might be that it looks more like he wants to eat Derrick, but he tries. "Out of town," he agrees helpfully, accent heavy. "I'm Norwegian." This has worked before - he just blames it on being a foreigner.

He hides his wad of cash in the sweat pant pocket again, like it was never there in the first place, hugging the pile of clothes close to his chest, like he's afraid Derrick will take them away. He leans closer to Penny and whispers; "We don't hit him, right?"

This will be a story Derrick tells to co-workers, this much is certain. He just nods slowly as the two customers explain What Is Going On. "Welcome to the United States," he says. "That must've been quite a trip from Norwegia, er Norway." Then he points to a doorway that is directly behind them. "That's the Changing Room. Three items at a time, please."

Penny sheepishly looks behind her at the doorway. "Heh, right there all this time! If it was a snake, it woulda bit me." She smiles, her own awkward grin more psychotic than animalistic. She leans over to Audgrim and whispers back, "No. We do not hit him."

Audgrim is carrying perhaps 15 items. He glares a bit at Derrick, narrowing his eyes. But he does give Penny an understanding, conspiratorial nod. He gets it. No hitting. "Thank you," he instead rasps at Derrick, shooting him another grin, before backing off towards the changing room door. Not turning his back. "Penny, you wait outside, I try on, give back to you and you give me more? Will be fast."

Derrick is clearly suspicious of all this whispering, but he's keeping that big smile on his face. The customers *seem* to want to follow the rules, despite their strangeness. He tenses a little when the man talks to him, but he is heading to the changing room, thank goodness.

Penny is so relieved when Audigrim heads to the changing room and puts her in charge of clothes distribution. "I'll be standin right here, Audi. No need to rush."

Audgrim backs right into the changing room, staring at Derrick. Like he is not sure he's safe, at all. Maybe he senses that sales man thing. He leaves the pile by a table next to the door, picking out three of the pants so he can try them on in there. "Thanks," he says and relaxes some before he closes the door.

Then proceeds trying on all of the pants, about half of them actually fitting; he ends up with 4 cargo pants - 1 pair of black, 1 pair gray, 1 pair city camoflage and a pair of green ones. The shirts all fit, so he takes all of them. And those two trench coats.

Once done with his choices, Audgrim steps out with a satisfied grin. "Shopping is not so bad when you help," he admits. "I say we go have lunch, after we find boots. I pay!" Well, technically he won't be, it's Tyla's money.

Derrick could have walked away after the changing room rules were explained. But he needs to make sure. If these two walk off with stolen clothes, he'd have to deal with the consequences. So he nervously watches as Penny takes clothes from Audgrim and hands clothes to Audgrim and the final decisions are made. Derrick is the one who takes the clothes that don't work out and he's the one who rings up the sale.

Penny is almost as nervous as Derrick. Security is just a scream away, and jail is never good for Changelings. So when the sale is finally completed, she is effusive in her thanks. "Thanks a lot, Derrick, you've been a real stand up dude."

Audgrim does make sure to get a receipt, maybe he wants to give that to Tyla later. "Yes, very many thanks," he tells Derrick and gives the man another wide-eyed challenging stare. "Like your shop very much. I will come back."

Carrying two big bags with clothes, he nudges Penny with his elbow. "Think I will go put on new clothes. I can do that in bathroom area, I saw that on the way here." See, he's learning. No getting undressed in public.

Now that the situation is under control, Penny can't help but get a little giddy with the fear that rolls off of Derrick. Especially when Audgrim gives the poor man that last stare. She takes a deep breath, sighs, then follows Audgrim out to the bathroom.

Derrick will never forget that wide-eyed challenging stare. He watches until the couple have left the area, then leans against the desk next to the register, sagging with relief.

Audgrim gives Derrick a final look over his shoulder, but just a quick one. He stalks towards the bathroom, now feeling much more confident with how things are turning out, because Penny saved him from possibly having done something totally crazy in the mall. He probably would've gotten arrested.

He slinks into the bathrooms, returning only a couple of minutes later, looking all spiff in the green cargo pants, the green and grey flannel shirt and the grey trench coat. Now, of course, the sandals does ruin the outfit a bit, but it's a start. "This mall, it is like… a mad house. Thanks again for helping," he tells the other Lost, very grateful.

"That looks great," Penny says when she sees Audgrim in his new outfit. "But you might want to remove the tags, so you don't look like you just stole the clothes you're wearin."

"Oh rrriight," Audgrim says and eyes widen. He reaches behind, and pulls off the tag of the shirt, and finds the one on the coat. The pants, well he gropes around behind himself (he's already ripped a hole for his tail), and finds that too. He throws them into one of the bags for now.

He points towards the shoe store. "They have boots there?"

Penny giggles a little when Audgrim divests himself of the tags. Then she looks over at the shoe area of the store. "Yup, they have boots. They have sandals too, if you want to ditch your old ones."

The shoe area is a little chaotic. Shoe salespeople are running around to get shoes for customers. A passel of kids are playing on the carpet, each waiting their turn to get fitted. But the chaos isn't without its center of control. The saleswoman at the register, a plump older woman with dyed red hair, is directing things. Her name tag reads: "Dottie". Just Dottie. And she has little stars on her tag, indicating years of service. Dottie is a veteran in this shoe game.

"I can use more than one sort of shoes," Audgrim says thoughtfully. "Boots. Sandals. Maybe some of those running shoes." He then follows along obediently. Maybe he can even sense the seniority of Dottie, because she isn't met with suspicion, instead she gets a very polite nod from the Beast. "Hi! I want boots. Very good boots. Boots that will not break," he announces. He feels confident to try this on his own, with Penny's support.

Dottie looks Audgrim up and down. She sees the newly bought clothes, hears the accent. Looks over at Penny, who smiles and waves. Looks at the flow of traffic in the area. Her eyes meet Audgrim's. "Please sit in that seat, and I'll be right over." Audgrim is getting the professional treatment today.

"Yes, thank you," Audgrim says and he gives Penny a little wink, because he did this without making a mess. He goes to sit down, quite happy to do so. He's getting tired, stifling a yawn. "I can't sleep here, right?" he asks quietly of Penny. He eyes the floor longingly, like he'd just like to take a nap.

"No you can't sleep here," Penny cautions. "I found that out when I was testing out a mattress up in Bedding. And it was so comfy." She sighs.

Dottie comes over with a size measuring device. "Please take off your shoes so I can see what size your feet are." She's making assumptions based on Audgrim's accent, but not being mean about it. "That's a really nice outfit you're wearing. Did you get it from the Men's section? I think I recognize that trenchcoat. I bought it for my son when he went to college…" On and on she talks, calm words about happy people.

In the meantime, one of those children playing on the carpet, a tot of around four years of age, is staring at Audgrim. Staring. And then he says, "Tail!"

Audgrim nods sadly. "Think you should be able to sleep where you want. What so bad about sleeping?" he says, finding that whole thing silly, not being able to just take a nap wherever. He straightens up when Dottie comes over, listening attentively. "I have size 12." He knows, cause it said so in his other boots. Now, he probably wouldn't need that big shoes if not for also having short but sharp claws on his toes.

He stares back at the kid, and then grins widely - his tail flick faster and the end points towards the little runt.

Dottie gives Audgrim a Look, since he seems to know his size. "Do you have a regular width, or do you have wide feet?" She looks at his sandled feet, completely clueless to the threat those clawed toes could be.

The little boy's reaction to Audgrim's tail is, thankfully, one of absolute wonder. He's still at the age that such magic is visible and appreciated. He even giggles a little when Audgrim wiggles his tail around. But, then the child sees Penny, and sees her as she truly is. He points at her and lets out a shrill scream of fear that hits the ears of most of the people in a twenty yard radius, and quickens the blood of every parent in that radius.

Penny's expression is interesting. That first flush of fear hits her like a shot of heroin. But then she realizes it's the fear of a child, one that sees her as she is, and her expression goes from vaguely euphoric to heartbroken. "I…I need to go to the bathroom," she whispers to Audgrim, and runs away.

Audgrim doesn't want to have his feet measured. It gets so awkward when she measures and it doesn't get right cause she can't see the claws. Or she might feel them, and then it gets /really/ weird. "Wide," he says because his feet are wide.

He grins at the kid again and sticks his tongue out, making loops with his tail. But he startles as much as everyone else when the kid screams, at first thinking it's because of him, before looking back at Penny when realising the little human is looking at her. "Helvete," he murmurs, and he just nods mutely at the other Lost. He is left, uncertain for a bit, then takes action, standing up. "My friend, she not feel well. She gets nervous when kids scream," he explains, which isn't in fact that much of a lie. "Get me good outdoor boots, 3 pairs. Running shoes, 2 pairs. Sandals. I come back in a bit," he promises.

He eyes the kid briefly, as if contemplating if he can do something, then shakes his head and runs off after Penny, bags in hands.

"Certainly. Three pairs of boots, two pairs of running shoes, a pair of sandals, Mens size 12, wide," replies Dottie, ever the professional. The parents of the little boy come up to him to calm him down, as he babbles about a man with a tail and a scary lady clown, teary eyed.

Penny is pretty easy to catch up with. She's slumped next to the entrance to the women's bathroom, hands covering her face, lightly sobbing. "Almost. I almost forget sometimes," she whispers.

Audgrim has a powerful stride and people does move out of his way as he thunders down the hallway. Finding Penny quickly, he throws the bags down next to the wall and then carefully puts a hand on her shoulder. "That kid is stupid," he tells her quietly and he gives her a kind and rare smile, rather than one of those beastly grins. "It'll be alright. We see you as you are, we think you are one of us. Humans, they can't see you, so they just see Penny - the fun girl who works at a school. I think they like you at the school, right? Kids - they get scared about everything. I saw a kid get scared by a squirrel." He scoffs.

"The little kids. They know. They…" Penny drops her hands from her face, her shoulders slumped. "The kids at the school like me. But they're almost grown, the wacky funsters. The little kids know the truth. And they see me." She sighs and looks up at Audgrim. "Yeah. I guess it's not as bad as I think, but it still hurts."

Audgrim nods slowly at her, giving her shoulder a squeeze. He smiles at her again, this time a bit broader. "I think he look funny, when he scream." On a more serious note, he adds: "Let it hurt. Why should we not let it hurt? And then take that hurt and… use it. So, scare the kids. So they don't go follow someone that looks like us through a door they should not go into." He shakes his head, grimly. "I don't know what to say, maybe I say the wrong thing, but I don't want you to be sad. Do you want to go have beer and pizza after I get my shoes?"

Penny nods. "You're right, you're right. Let's go get these shoes, then get some beer and pizza. Mostly beer." She wipes her face, then heads back over with Audgrim to the waiting Dottie, who has not only gotten the suggested shoes, but many more, just in case. The toddler and his family are gone, though there are a few people there who saw the incident and are giving Penny looks. These looks, she is used to.

Audgrim wraps an arm around her shoulder and grabs the bags with his other hand, but he only does that for a few seconds to lead the way to the store. There, he gives the watching people long, warning stares with narrowed eyes; he can be rather intimidating when he wants to.

He pays up without a fuss, taking all the shoes and boots. They'll be used up fast at the rate he goes through clothing, so might as well get them all.

So, he and Penny are carrying a whole bunch of bags as they head off to find pizza and beer and to get properly tipsy together.

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